I happened to catch sight of a flash of silent lightening just now from the corner of my eye. I seriously lept onto my bed, drew up the blinds and stared out, waiting for it to return, praying I hadn't been mistaken. It's just so beautiful when it's like this... silent... yet immensely powerful. Pure poetry. Oh, and the rain to come.... hehehe!
I don't know if you have any idea how happy this makes me or if you're able to understand why. It doesn't really matter.... The point is, tho, a storm's moving in, and I'm thanking the heavens in every sense of the word.
*huge child-like smile*
Storm's coming. Time to play.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
now it's done
So I'm back from the bowels of art hell, so to speak. Though it wasn't so bad. Of course, my hand kept cramping up and I know I got a date or three wrong, but these things just are.
I think I did pretty well over all... Though I'll never let that idea sit comfortably until I see a grade. Another one of those things that just is.
There's just one thing that really bothers me.
I had to memorize 75 works of art AND THEN ONLY GOT CREDIT FOR KNOWING ABOUT 10 OF THEM!!!
....this is not acceptable....
And it's not as if the work I put into it was avoidable. I mean, I had no way of knowing which 10 works would end up on the test. So, in effect, I had to do 7.5 times the work that I'll be recognized for and there's not a damn thing to be done about it.
Ugh, I'm such a dork. But I like to show off what I know when I can.
And, of course, I'll probably only remember a quarter of all this by next week.
Easy come, easy go. Tho I did study on and off for a few days, and major hardcore last night....
Bah! Whatever. I'm going to sleep.
Good day all.
I think I did pretty well over all... Though I'll never let that idea sit comfortably until I see a grade. Another one of those things that just is.
There's just one thing that really bothers me.
I had to memorize 75 works of art AND THEN ONLY GOT CREDIT FOR KNOWING ABOUT 10 OF THEM!!!
....this is not acceptable....
And it's not as if the work I put into it was avoidable. I mean, I had no way of knowing which 10 works would end up on the test. So, in effect, I had to do 7.5 times the work that I'll be recognized for and there's not a damn thing to be done about it.
Ugh, I'm such a dork. But I like to show off what I know when I can.
And, of course, I'll probably only remember a quarter of all this by next week.
Easy come, easy go. Tho I did study on and off for a few days, and major hardcore last night....
Bah! Whatever. I'm going to sleep.
Good day all.
test in t minus 66 minutes
So never mind the fact that I've pretty much given up on holding a normal sleeping schedule. Never mind that I'm loaded with images, names, dates, and artists for about 75 works of western art from prehistoric to gothic. Never mind that all my preoccupations have all been tinged by the bright colors of unearthed frescos, the sleek lines of Egyptian relief sculpures, and the bright light of stained glass from Gothic cathedrals. All that matters now, all it's come down to is that test. That mighty exam!!
I will go in a brave warrior, and may the Lord grant me the strength to emerge with, if nothing else, my dignity intact.
I present this post as a pious mesopotamian may have once presented the Warka Vase (3100 BC) to the goddess Inanna. In hope of favor. In hope of blessing.
Perhaps I'm making my sacrifice to some mighty art goddess... one who likes to read blogs........ and... um...... stuff.
^_^
And, in other news, the forecast says stormy skies are on their way. Here's hoping that when it rains it pours. <3
I will go in a brave warrior, and may the Lord grant me the strength to emerge with, if nothing else, my dignity intact.
I present this post as a pious mesopotamian may have once presented the Warka Vase (3100 BC) to the goddess Inanna. In hope of favor. In hope of blessing.
Perhaps I'm making my sacrifice to some mighty art goddess... one who likes to read blogs........ and... um...... stuff.
^_^
And, in other news, the forecast says stormy skies are on their way. Here's hoping that when it rains it pours. <3
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Thoughts on Sunday
See, this is just how it goes. If nothing really awesome or important comes along, I do nothing on Sundays. I basically live in my room for the day reading, listening to music, and doing any homework I have. Monday through Friday you'll find my door open whenever I'm in. Sunday? Not a chance. Tho I will answer if you knock..... usually. ^_^
To put it simply, Sunday is my reserved antisocial day. Gotta love it.
That's really all I have to say on the subject, so in order to fill out this post a bit I'm going to dedicate the end of the post to one of my favorite movies, eXistenZ, a 1999 psychological thriller/science fiction film by Canadian director David Cronenberg.
The following are lifted portions of Wikipedia's eXistenZ entry
The story is based on the confusion between reality and virtual reality as the characters move in and out of a quasi-organic role-playing computer game called eXistenZ, the aim of which is unknown. The players are linked to the virtual world of the game by a console that resembles a living lump of animal tissue which is connected to the player's nervous system through a 'bio-port' drilled in the player's lower back.
The virtual world of the game features many aspects of traditional video games, particularly graphical adventure games of the 1980s and early 1990s. Some of these are explicit, such as the repetitive "loops" of actions that minor characters perform, or the need to provide certain trigger phrases to make progress possible. There are many other references that are more subtle, for example the sparsely populated nature of the game world and the physical proximity of certain locations for no sensible reason (e.g., a Chinese restaurant next to a fish processing factory in thick forest). Another trait repeatedly used is the tendency of characters within the game to perform certain actions to quickly establish their personality which, presented in a more real world, make no sense.
The film calls into question the nature of reality and how to discern between reality and illusion. It also raises ethical issues surrounding the distortion of reality and how it might equate to psychosis for those who become psychologically absorbed into their virtual roles as characters within a game. The film portrays the emotional reasons for the popularity of video games, and explores the theoretical issues of self-reflexivity and absorption of a game player for the sake of entertainment.
I seriously love this movie. If you've never seen it, remedy that quickly. Things just aren't what they seem, right to the end; you're gonna love it.
Oh yeah, and it stars Jude Law. How can you pass that up??
To put it simply, Sunday is my reserved antisocial day. Gotta love it.
That's really all I have to say on the subject, so in order to fill out this post a bit I'm going to dedicate the end of the post to one of my favorite movies, eXistenZ, a 1999 psychological thriller/science fiction film by Canadian director David Cronenberg.
The following are lifted portions of Wikipedia's eXistenZ entry
The story is based on the confusion between reality and virtual reality as the characters move in and out of a quasi-organic role-playing computer game called eXistenZ, the aim of which is unknown. The players are linked to the virtual world of the game by a console that resembles a living lump of animal tissue which is connected to the player's nervous system through a 'bio-port' drilled in the player's lower back.
The virtual world of the game features many aspects of traditional video games, particularly graphical adventure games of the 1980s and early 1990s. Some of these are explicit, such as the repetitive "loops" of actions that minor characters perform, or the need to provide certain trigger phrases to make progress possible. There are many other references that are more subtle, for example the sparsely populated nature of the game world and the physical proximity of certain locations for no sensible reason (e.g., a Chinese restaurant next to a fish processing factory in thick forest). Another trait repeatedly used is the tendency of characters within the game to perform certain actions to quickly establish their personality which, presented in a more real world, make no sense.
The film calls into question the nature of reality and how to discern between reality and illusion. It also raises ethical issues surrounding the distortion of reality and how it might equate to psychosis for those who become psychologically absorbed into their virtual roles as characters within a game. The film portrays the emotional reasons for the popularity of video games, and explores the theoretical issues of self-reflexivity and absorption of a game player for the sake of entertainment.
I seriously love this movie. If you've never seen it, remedy that quickly. Things just aren't what they seem, right to the end; you're gonna love it.
Oh yeah, and it stars Jude Law. How can you pass that up??
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
2 for the price of 1
or
Clark Kent Wears the Glasses
or
Clark Kent Wears the Glasses
So, evidently, upon taking off my glasses I take on the appearance of a whole other person. Hm... I like this idea. Let's study this visually, shall we?
Without Glasses vs With
AGAIN!!!
Without Glasses vs With
AND A FISH FAAAAAAACE!!!!!!
...just had 2 throw that one in there...
So what do you think???
AGAIN!!!
...just had 2 throw that one in there...
So what do you think???
Monday, June 19, 2006
again with the asphyxiation
I went to see the movie, Cars, today with a few friends. It was cute and funny and beautifully animated (and inspired me to buy Rascal Flats' "Life is a Highway" on iTunes when I got back to my room), but none of that is really the point.
The part I really found interesting (and post-worthy, it seems) happened at some time before the movie actually started. We were sitting there, watching the previews, I believe, when I heard (or thought I heard, who knows) something very strange. It sounded like the slow release of pressurized gas. Tho this only lasted for a second (and a half?), it seemed time enough for something in my head to concoct the idea that we had all been sealed in the movie theatre, expecting another wonderful treat from the minds of Disney and Pixar, only to be gassed like a North Carolina death-row inmate in 1958.
Now, my dear friends, I am no stranger to passing paranoid thoughts, but this one seems to be the first of it's kind in any recent memory. Upon hearing the sound, I automatically looked around a bit to find its source. I found only that I could see none and that no one around me seemed to have even heard the sound. Perhaps I should have asked if my friends had heard anything. (But do I really want to know??) It seems quite possible that there was no such noise, at least as I thought I heard it. It was a soft kind of sound... maybe I misheard something else that would have been utterly explainable.
Either way, tho, I'm not worried. It's not like I believed that we were actually being gassed. Not even in that moment. Some part of me did, sure, but I know that part was merely acting off of an instant creation of a fantastic situation, given life by way of a fertile imagination and a recent, slight preoccupation with asphyxiation.
Wow... I sound crazy, don't I? Lol. Well do not worry, my friends; after all, real crazy people don't know they're crazy.
And on that note...
The part I really found interesting (and post-worthy, it seems) happened at some time before the movie actually started. We were sitting there, watching the previews, I believe, when I heard (or thought I heard, who knows) something very strange. It sounded like the slow release of pressurized gas. Tho this only lasted for a second (and a half?), it seemed time enough for something in my head to concoct the idea that we had all been sealed in the movie theatre, expecting another wonderful treat from the minds of Disney and Pixar, only to be gassed like a North Carolina death-row inmate in 1958.
Now, my dear friends, I am no stranger to passing paranoid thoughts, but this one seems to be the first of it's kind in any recent memory. Upon hearing the sound, I automatically looked around a bit to find its source. I found only that I could see none and that no one around me seemed to have even heard the sound. Perhaps I should have asked if my friends had heard anything. (But do I really want to know??) It seems quite possible that there was no such noise, at least as I thought I heard it. It was a soft kind of sound... maybe I misheard something else that would have been utterly explainable.
Either way, tho, I'm not worried. It's not like I believed that we were actually being gassed. Not even in that moment. Some part of me did, sure, but I know that part was merely acting off of an instant creation of a fantastic situation, given life by way of a fertile imagination and a recent, slight preoccupation with asphyxiation.
Wow... I sound crazy, don't I? Lol. Well do not worry, my friends; after all, real crazy people don't know they're crazy.
And on that note...
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
heat, suffocation, and malaise pt2
Alright, so I'm feeling much better now. I went out and walked around the S40 a bit, bright tunes paving the way by way of my pocketed iPod (...what kind of product calls itself an iPod, anyway... but hell, they must have done something right...) Then, in preparation for my party-ish thing tonight (which I'm worried won't get off the ground much, as most people only said they "might" show), I walked down to Schnucks with a couple of friends to pick up provisions. Then we shuttled back to campus just in time for the BBQ that the summer session RAs organized for us. It was kind of a sad turn-out as it began raining right around the time the thing was starting, but we stopped by nonetheless, grabbed a free hot dog, and went about our merry ways. Thus I am back here in my room, contemplating my plans for the rest of the afternoon and thinking that I really ought to review the stuff we went over this week in my art history class.
But none of that is really the point of this post...
So yes, I left off in mentioning that I had had an interesting set of thoughts while in the shower earlier.
But before I pick up there- *runs to get a diet A&W Cream Soda (faaaaaaaaavorite)*- Ah diet cream soda, how I love thee...
oh...
yeah...
So after I was through with the actual bathing part of my shower, I slowly turned the single knob in the shower toward the "hot" end until I could not stand the water to be any hotter and then I just stood there allowing the
heat to envelop me (and give my skin a reddish glow). It's a great feeling to have hot water running down your body and to breathe in the warm steam. There's something very relaxing about breathing in steam... Though I've also found that it gives me the feeling of being slowly suffocated. I realized this after standing like that for only a minute or two, realized that I felt as if I wasn't quite getting the right amount of oxygen. But there was something satisfying about that as well and so I stayed like that for another 5 minutes or so, watching my skin take on that heated glow, breathing in the thick air, and just thinking.
I wonder why I'm comforted by something that reminds me of suffocation. I wonder why I enjoy making the water so hot I can only just handle it. I wonder at the lines between pain and pleasure, as I have before, and worry once more that I'm redrawing my personal lines in a way I may one day regret. I'd never really hurt myself... I'd think not anyway... but what happens if I lose sight of what helps and what hurts?
blaaaaaaaah
These are not thoughts I should dwell on much, I feel. But it just seemed.... interesting, so I thought I'd share.
just keep breathing, eh?
<3 all
But none of that is really the point of this post...
So yes, I left off in mentioning that I had had an interesting set of thoughts while in the shower earlier.
But before I pick up there- *runs to get a diet A&W Cream Soda (faaaaaaaaavorite)*- Ah diet cream soda, how I love thee...
oh...
yeah...
So after I was through with the actual bathing part of my shower, I slowly turned the single knob in the shower toward the "hot" end until I could not stand the water to be any hotter and then I just stood there allowing the
heat to envelop me (and give my skin a reddish glow). It's a great feeling to have hot water running down your body and to breathe in the warm steam. There's something very relaxing about breathing in steam... Though I've also found that it gives me the feeling of being slowly suffocated. I realized this after standing like that for only a minute or two, realized that I felt as if I wasn't quite getting the right amount of oxygen. But there was something satisfying about that as well and so I stayed like that for another 5 minutes or so, watching my skin take on that heated glow, breathing in the thick air, and just thinking.
I wonder why I'm comforted by something that reminds me of suffocation. I wonder why I enjoy making the water so hot I can only just handle it. I wonder at the lines between pain and pleasure, as I have before, and worry once more that I'm redrawing my personal lines in a way I may one day regret. I'd never really hurt myself... I'd think not anyway... but what happens if I lose sight of what helps and what hurts?
blaaaaaaaah
These are not thoughts I should dwell on much, I feel. But it just seemed.... interesting, so I thought I'd share.
just keep breathing, eh?
<3 all
heat, suffocation, and malaise
whoa... the title of this post is taking me back to days I'd rather not revisit...
but anyway, here's the scoop:
in waking up this morning I found a certain something lacking. the desire to live, one may say. (but not in any "i wish i was dead" sort of way. certainly not. just more of a "i don't want to put in the effort it takes to go find a piece of happiness" sort of way.
i find that in times like these it's not that life sucks, it's not that the world is somehow against me (*gasp* how dare I defy the teenage angst standby?!?), it is that I am simply unmotivated to search out and/or seize something that would carry me away from my feelings of malcontent.
basically, in these times, I've gotten tired of playing the game (and not "the game," which I have now lost, of course, but the game of life), and need a bit of a jumpstart.
my jumpstart came from Adam, who I called at noon his time (waking him up, of course). he listened to my mini-ranting about how I was feeling and then made me promise to go outside (and I will, I will. just let me get this post out. you know I can't do anything when I'm feeling the pull to post). thank you, darling; if you hadn't made me promise I might still be in bed right now... somehow that might be all I needed, just him telling me to go outside.
I was going to share with you, my readers, some of the thoughts I had while standing in the shower just a few minutes ago. but as I feel that I really ought to step into the light of day before too much more time passes, I will leave this to be continued later in the day.
farewell 4 now
but anyway, here's the scoop:
in waking up this morning I found a certain something lacking. the desire to live, one may say. (but not in any "i wish i was dead" sort of way. certainly not. just more of a "i don't want to put in the effort it takes to go find a piece of happiness" sort of way.
i find that in times like these it's not that life sucks, it's not that the world is somehow against me (*gasp* how dare I defy the teenage angst standby?!?), it is that I am simply unmotivated to search out and/or seize something that would carry me away from my feelings of malcontent.
basically, in these times, I've gotten tired of playing the game (and not "the game," which I have now lost, of course, but the game of life), and need a bit of a jumpstart.
my jumpstart came from Adam, who I called at noon his time (waking him up, of course). he listened to my mini-ranting about how I was feeling and then made me promise to go outside (and I will, I will. just let me get this post out. you know I can't do anything when I'm feeling the pull to post). thank you, darling; if you hadn't made me promise I might still be in bed right now... somehow that might be all I needed, just him telling me to go outside.
I was going to share with you, my readers, some of the thoughts I had while standing in the shower just a few minutes ago. but as I feel that I really ought to step into the light of day before too much more time passes, I will leave this to be continued later in the day.
farewell 4 now
Friday, June 16, 2006
so what's the count up to now??
I can't remember if it's 5 or 6...
(only one person in the world knows what I'm talking about here. don't sweat it if you don't)
On to the point!
So, Sarah McLachlan's Possession is currently stuck in my head, and thus, I have made the point to listen to it a number of times as of late. In fact, it is playing as I type (I seem to be consistantly playing music lately, but this song, above others, strikes something ever so perfect right now.) The full lyrics are:
Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here,
and not be satisfied?
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear
Through this world I stumble
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
Oh, you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear
Into this night I wander
It's morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of
The path I fear to tread
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Cause nothing stands between us here
And I won't be denied
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear
I'll hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes
I've loved this song ever since a then-good friend of mine put it on her MySpace page a year or so ago (something like that). The song is seriously just beautiful, musically, poetically and in sentiment. But now and in my current romantic situation, this song speaks to a sense of love and longing within myself as it never has before.
If you don't own this song... tisk tisk tisk... get it now. Hell, I'll give it to you.
Keep looking up, all.
(only one person in the world knows what I'm talking about here. don't sweat it if you don't)
On to the point!
So, Sarah McLachlan's Possession is currently stuck in my head, and thus, I have made the point to listen to it a number of times as of late. In fact, it is playing as I type (I seem to be consistantly playing music lately, but this song, above others, strikes something ever so perfect right now.) The full lyrics are:
Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning
Memories trapped in time
The night is my companion
And solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here,
and not be satisfied?
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear
Through this world I stumble
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
to find the truth enslaved
Oh, you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear
Into this night I wander
It's morning that I dread
Another day of knowing of
The path I fear to tread
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
Cause nothing stands between us here
And I won't be denied
And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear
I'll hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I
Wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes
I've loved this song ever since a then-good friend of mine put it on her MySpace page a year or so ago (something like that). The song is seriously just beautiful, musically, poetically and in sentiment. But now and in my current romantic situation, this song speaks to a sense of love and longing within myself as it never has before.
If you don't own this song... tisk tisk tisk... get it now. Hell, I'll give it to you.
Keep looking up, all.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
the sweet suite of mysti skye
and
someone once told me that sleep trumps sex... so where does romance fall?
and
someone once told me that sleep trumps sex... so where does romance fall?
This post comes to you good people from the head of my bed and beneath a craftily-created canopy of twinkle lights. It's wonderful and all thanks to a good length of ethernet cord and supplies via Dallas.
I would like to take this moment to consider the number of items which are currently making my room quite snazzy and are not actually mine. So here's a list:
-1 strand twinkle lights (blue-taped and draped from the lofted extra bed that L's with mine)
-2 clip lamps (one w/standard white bulb for illumination purposes and one with a "stained-glass" bulb for warmth and color)
-1 purple flat sheet and 8 small throw pillows to make the lower extra bed into a welcoming place to sit and relax (though the idea has recently been presented to me that since the bed is set pretty low, the amount of exposed bed-post would be good for tying someone down as well)
-and 1 toaster oven (which I might never use, but hey, I have it)
Yes yes. All this snazzy hominess and hardly anyone to show it off to. I'm looking into having some sort of fun-filled gathering in here this weekend, but who knows how it will turn out.
It's kind of interesting when some people come in, the ones who worry they are imposing on me by stepping in for more than a minute, the ones who perhaps think that I do not want them there. In all honesty, I absolutely love it when people drop by, even if they have nothing interesting to say or anything. Sometimes I just like to be. To exist in a room with someone, knowing the the company is welcome on both sides without a strong need for entertaining activities or conversation. And of course the wonderful thing here is that I can, at any moment, ask anyone and everyone to leave if I so desire. Did I mention I LOVE this whole having a room (not to mention a suite) all to myself?
Ugh! I'm sooooo tired. My sleep patterns are still fucked up. Last night a very.... interesting conversation with Adam kept me up later than I expected, and then despite the fact that I had been tired all afternoon and hadn't even napped that day, I once again found myself awakening time and again during the night and once again ended up getting up before my alarm was to go off.
So here I sit on my bed, dead tired and in my sleep-wear. I could go to sleep right now... and maybe I should, but I'm sort of hoping Adam will call, and thus... This is not the sort of hope that is born out of anything substantial, such as a promise that he would call tonight or something like that; it is, instead, the lovechild of romantic mental inclinations and a kind of loneliness that only strong embraces from the right person can cure.
Perhaps as some sort of compromise I could fall asleep with the phone near my head so that it would wake me if he did call.
I just really like to hear his voice before I call it a night, you know?
...
Oh Lord in Heaven, someone just hit me over the head with something reasonably sized and weighty, eh?
And on that note...
I would like to take this moment to consider the number of items which are currently making my room quite snazzy and are not actually mine. So here's a list:
-2 clip lamps (one w/standard white bulb for illumination purposes and one with a "stained-glass" bulb for warmth and color)
-1 purple flat sheet and 8 small throw pillows to make the lower extra bed into a welcoming place to sit and relax (though the idea has recently been presented to me that since the bed is set pretty low, the amount of exposed bed-post would be good for tying someone down as well)
-and 1 toaster oven (which I might never use, but hey, I have it)
Yes yes. All this snazzy hominess and hardly anyone to show it off to. I'm looking into having some sort of fun-filled gathering in here this weekend, but who knows how it will turn out.
It's kind of interesting when some people come in, the ones who worry they are imposing on me by stepping in for more than a minute, the ones who perhaps think that I do not want them there. In all honesty, I absolutely love it when people drop by, even if they have nothing interesting to say or anything. Sometimes I just like to be. To exist in a room with someone, knowing the the company is welcome on both sides without a strong need for entertaining activities or conversation. And of course the wonderful thing here is that I can, at any moment, ask anyone and everyone to leave if I so desire. Did I mention I LOVE this whole having a room (not to mention a suite) all to myself?
Ugh! I'm sooooo tired. My sleep patterns are still fucked up. Last night a very.... interesting conversation with Adam kept me up later than I expected, and then despite the fact that I had been tired all afternoon and hadn't even napped that day, I once again found myself awakening time and again during the night and once again ended up getting up before my alarm was to go off.
So here I sit on my bed, dead tired and in my sleep-wear. I could go to sleep right now... and maybe I should, but I'm sort of hoping Adam will call, and thus... This is not the sort of hope that is born out of anything substantial, such as a promise that he would call tonight or something like that; it is, instead, the lovechild of romantic mental inclinations and a kind of loneliness that only strong embraces from the right person can cure.
Perhaps as some sort of compromise I could fall asleep with the phone near my head so that it would wake me if he did call.
I just really like to hear his voice before I call it a night, you know?
...
Oh Lord in Heaven, someone just hit me over the head with something reasonably sized and weighty, eh?
And on that note...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Prince Beheaded
I knew Prince Hall was coming down this summer, but when I arrived on campus this past Sunday and saw the huge hole where I had had class a mere month ago, I was totally floored. Gone. Just like that. The history, the detailed and intimate architecture... gone. Evidently the building was not worth the immense trouble it would take to update it and so, down it went.
I'm not really sure where I stand on the issue. Not that it's really an issue anymore, as the building is no more than rubble now. But, I mean, the building was beautiful and full of an irreplaceable history (and perhaps a ghost or two, as it is rumored). And yet... I must admit that the inside was not wholly practical for use as classroom and office space. I will say conclusively, tho, that I mourn the loss along with many fellow students and St. Louis residents.
Rest in peace, dear Prince.
insomnia
So, if I am correct (as I'm sure I am) there are two forms of insomnia: not being able to get to sleep and not being able to stay asleep. I seem to be suffering from the latter.
Night before last wasn't too bad; I only woke up once about an hour before I actually needed to get up. Last night, however, was a whole helluva lot worse. I woke up so many times that I lost count and so finally when 6:30 rolled around I said fuck it, got up, and took a shower. It is now just after 8, the time I had wanted to awaken in the first place. Probably going to be tired as fuck later on this evening. Blaaaaaaah.
I'm almost tempted to go out and buy some sort of otc sleep aids. I generally avoid taking pills... but I do enjoy sleep... huh...
So... yeah...
Anyway, awesome news!
I have a whole suite in Elliot all to myself for the next five weeks!! Woohoo! And I'm paying simply for a double room. Extra woohoo! ^_^
Note of importance:
I'm lonely, SO COME VISIT ME!!
And with that, I'm done for now.
Onward and upward all, and I'm off to breakfast!
Night before last wasn't too bad; I only woke up once about an hour before I actually needed to get up. Last night, however, was a whole helluva lot worse. I woke up so many times that I lost count and so finally when 6:30 rolled around I said fuck it, got up, and took a shower. It is now just after 8, the time I had wanted to awaken in the first place. Probably going to be tired as fuck later on this evening. Blaaaaaaah.
I'm almost tempted to go out and buy some sort of otc sleep aids. I generally avoid taking pills... but I do enjoy sleep... huh...
So... yeah...
Anyway, awesome news!
I have a whole suite in Elliot all to myself for the next five weeks!! Woohoo! And I'm paying simply for a double room. Extra woohoo! ^_^
Note of importance:
I'm lonely, SO COME VISIT ME!!
And with that, I'm done for now.
Onward and upward all, and I'm off to breakfast!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
the great escape
some home's great and all
really
and so is having nothing better to do than starting and finishing two different rpgs
but lord in heaven I need to escape
and now it's all set. I'm due to be back in st.louis on the 11th of this month, SO COME SEE ME! if you are so inclined
looking forward to seeing those of you that I know will be around. no... really really. home is lonely compared to campus. even compared to summer on campus.
(side note: my mom is leaning over my shoulder as I type and won't leave me be. she is silly. and a little annoying. that's 4 u momma.)
so yeah, I'm currently sitting in a waiting room at the MD Anderson Cancer Center. For those of you who don't know, my mom has leukemia (specifically CLL) and is getting tests done. so here I am both providing welcome company to my insane (and "bored" says she) mother and taking advantage of free wireless. woo-hoo!
but more to my point...
my escape is all set and well payed for and all that's left is a few days of waiting. and the best (or at least most exciting) part of all this, of course, is that I am expecting a visit from my latest obsession while I am in St. Louis. I can't even tell you the extent to which I am psyched about getting to see him again. Well... I could try... but I think I'll pass. It's better to just sit here and wallow in it.
*takes a moment to day dream wistfully*
ah, yes, so...
With that on my mind, this wait will seem an eternity.
ok, now, totally off topic! yay!
I'm thiniking of adding to the rose tatoo on my back. I welcome suggestions from all who have seen the tat and might have an idea.
also off topic... my dad got his tongue pierced. isn't that odd. but then he left it out for a few days and forgot about it and it closed, so... But for a while there, me, my mom, and my dad all had our tongues pierced. Done at totally different times, sure, but still suggestive of some sort of strange bonding. huh.... At least I was the first. I have that.
and so I will depart
until next time, all
keep looking up
(i miss you adam)
really
and so is having nothing better to do than starting and finishing two different rpgs
but lord in heaven I need to escape
and now it's all set. I'm due to be back in st.louis on the 11th of this month, SO COME SEE ME! if you are so inclined
looking forward to seeing those of you that I know will be around. no... really really. home is lonely compared to campus. even compared to summer on campus.
(side note: my mom is leaning over my shoulder as I type and won't leave me be. she is silly. and a little annoying. that's 4 u momma.)
so yeah, I'm currently sitting in a waiting room at the MD Anderson Cancer Center. For those of you who don't know, my mom has leukemia (specifically CLL) and is getting tests done. so here I am both providing welcome company to my insane (and "bored" says she) mother and taking advantage of free wireless. woo-hoo!
but more to my point...
my escape is all set and well payed for and all that's left is a few days of waiting. and the best (or at least most exciting) part of all this, of course, is that I am expecting a visit from my latest obsession while I am in St. Louis. I can't even tell you the extent to which I am psyched about getting to see him again. Well... I could try... but I think I'll pass. It's better to just sit here and wallow in it.
*takes a moment to day dream wistfully*
ah, yes, so...
With that on my mind, this wait will seem an eternity.
ok, now, totally off topic! yay!
I'm thiniking of adding to the rose tatoo on my back. I welcome suggestions from all who have seen the tat and might have an idea.
also off topic... my dad got his tongue pierced. isn't that odd. but then he left it out for a few days and forgot about it and it closed, so... But for a while there, me, my mom, and my dad all had our tongues pierced. Done at totally different times, sure, but still suggestive of some sort of strange bonding. huh.... At least I was the first. I have that.
and so I will depart
until next time, all
keep looking up
(i miss you adam)
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