5AM Sprinklers

I didn't want to be sleeping away my last hours at WashU. I wanted to be out with someone, walking the streets, philosophizing about life, observing and apreciating every moment of the sunrise. Or better yet, I could have been up atop Umrath Hall, a terribly wonderful location to experience the dawning of a new day. The end of my freshman year... The end of my freshman year. I think I'm freaking out here. It's all just passing me by; where did it go?? That's why I didn't want to sleep, didn't want to drift through that particuar moment. But, alas my dear friends, all the friends I had immediate contact with had turned in for the night.

It was not a bad night. I shared a bed with a companion of mine for a few hours before returning to my dorm to get ready for Utrucking to pick up my storage boxes. It was comfy. Cute, even. But... I feel I've missed another piece of life.


There's plenty of people I will miss. See you all in the Fall, I hope. And maybe sooner, hm??

don't touch my frickin underwear

so I left a load of laundry in a dryer in Ruby when I went to dinner. by the time I got back someone had moved my clothes to the top of the dryer so they could use it. all I want to say is

DON'T FUCKING TOUCH MY SHIT


...
thank you
...


but, I mean, I can't really blame them. they needed to use a machine and I had left my stuff there

le sigh


still. it just makes me feel... violated. (and not at all in a good way.)


in other news, I am headed home in about seven hours. wheeeeee! glad to be done for a little bit. not long, tho. summer course. Intro to Western Art for like four to five weeks then back home again.



I FRICKIN HEART LARKIN



saw the currently mostly pink-haired princess tonight. yay. as I said, I heart her.



and, at last, a closing in honor of Alex:
ALL HAIL THE CORN-MAN!!!
....and then whip him and set him afire

break away from the mush

so I am sorry, my dear friends, to have brought so much mushiness to my recent blogs

it all still stands as I've said it, but I will nonetheless give you all a break

so, on to the point: bullshitting finals

It has occured to me that taking an exam that consists of open-ended questions easily lends itself to bullshitting
For example, I've got 20-ish minutes left and a question that asks me to trace the development of the narrative process of american cinema from early exhibition to classical hollywood style to the break-down of the classical style. In this discussion I need to mention specific examples from a certain number of films from a given list (maybe it was three out of four or some such. wtf ever). Now, I have some good ideas as to how to answer this, but am not sure that I actually have all the information I need. Maybe this is because I only did maybe two or three readings for the entire semester and couldn't always stay conscious in class... Huh... Now, my natural inclination would be to think it all through and formulate the best answer possible from what I have to work with. But no, I say... NO! This would waste time and now, after reading the question through enough to actually understand it, I only have about 15 minutes left (ish... maybe I lie...). So I just start writing and pulling examples out of the air from films on the list and from films that illustrate my points but aren't on the list (can't hurt) and I pause long enough to massage my aching hand and I just keep writing whatever comes to mind, one idea to the next and so on, and I even keep writing as my visual attention moves across the room to take in the positions of the TAs and of the professor, and to determine how many people are still examming (yes, fuck it, examming), words become a little slanted, but continue to come out. I write down to the last second and can then do nothing but hope that I've come off as... mostly competent.


I think I'll do alright overall in that class. Got A's on all the papers except the last one on which I got a B+. We shall see. And no matter what, it's done now. HEAR ME?!?!?! IT'S FUCKING DONE WITH!!!! YES!!

...
I need summer vacation
...


and I've had La Vie Bohemme stuck in my head all day
and on that note, I'll leave you

farewell all
may your final exams not kick you in the ass

this boy does it rightorhappy to just be

so... I'm happy right now

pretty damn tired, but happy

My day began with a call from a friend, an invitation to lunch off campus. hell yes.
then it was off to target to waste time and buy a couple odds and ends. for me, that meant Uno cards. woot!
then some general hanging out and some studying and such
then it was final Center Court dinner with an amazing group of people

and as fullfilling as that all is, it was only a pale prelude

my day was made one of the most enjoyable in recent memory by the actions of one young man between the hours of 10-ish and 1-ish

he's...just...beyond words

or at least beyond those I would so flippantly put out into the ether

he just... makes me happy. pretty much consistantly. and if that's not something everyone's looking for, I don't know what the fuck is.



so, who cares what lies in the future, I'm just happy to be where I am right now. happy to just be.

I don't know what I wantorthe ocd blogger

so it's 2am and I've gotta go in to work at 10 and so I'm lying in my fave sleep position, getting all ready to drift off when I start thinking about what I want to put in my next blog entry

that's it

nothing to be done about it

once that sort of thought crosses my mind, it seems I cannot do anything else (including sleep) before I make that entry

so here I am, tired and o/c and blogging
here goes

***

I don't know what I want

you know what I'm talking about


you're definitely not alone there

fear of fucking things up? yep. sure. that as well.

but here's the important part:

I'll do it anyway


better to have chased a dream than never to have dreamed at all


and really, I just want to have some fun
no ridiculous complications. no restriction for the sake of restriction. and no expectations. take it when it comes as it comes.

first drunken post

so... ariel has a higher alcohol tolerance than me, and somewhere along the lines I decided to take a shot every time ariel did.

hmm.

so now my tongue is numb.

my lips are numb.

my toes and fingertips are numb.


and, above all, I'm making less and less sense as I go along.
so I will sleep now.



goodnight all

I laugh in the face of sleep

so... it's about 6 in the moring


I wholly intend to stay awake for probably the next 3 hours, depending on when Dunker opens

of course, as has been my luck, I had some issues with getting my final RSP for ecomp done

ok, ok, so if I had worked on it more earlier, it wouldn't have been an issue. but the point is, I went to bed at about 8am yesterday morning and intended to sleep for an hour or two at the most, at which point I would get up, print out my film paper to be turned in by noon, and finish up my RSP before the 4:30 deadline. I had my alarm set and everything. My brain had other plans, however, for it seems that when my alarm went off I merely shut it off and went back to sleep. I ended up waking up at 1:50. So now I'm thinking, "great, my film paper is late and I don't have enough time to totally finish up my RSP." So I rush off to the arc, hoping beyond hope that I"ll find an open computer so I can print my paper. after standing around for a bit and getting decidedly nervous, I begin to run through possible courses of action, one of which involves me momentarily taking over the computer of a person who must have stepped out to go to the bathroom or something (they were not there, but their belongings were). I was not feeling quite up to that, so I started to head out, thinking I might somehow find a computer and printer elsewhere that I could use. as it worked out, in moving toward the door I spotted a former RA of mine and practically begged her to let me borrow the computer she was on just long enough to print something. she, thank God, allowed me the momentary use of her computer.

at this point it was surely 3 or so, and I headed toward the film and media studies offices in mallinckrodt. (ran into larkin when leaving the arc. she seemed a little out of it. hope she's doing alright.) so I went up to mallincrodt 3 and, perhaps luckily for me, I met up with professor Paul and he said he wouldn't count off for the paper being a few hours late.

yay

so then I finally rushed back to my room and work on my RSP

as was expected, I did not finish it in time

it is done now, at least, so that's good, and I'm sort of hoping that if I get it in really early then my ecomp professor might not take off points

hey, a girl can hope, right??

so... yeah... I think I had a point in here... something about sleep
oh, yeah.
so now that I have a total lack of faith in my ability to wake up after only sleeping a few hours in the preceeding 24 hours, I've decided to stay awake until I can head to main campus and turn in my RSP. this, of course, would be much easier if I had any idea about the time at which buildings open in the mornings. as it is, I plan on heading to main campus at 7:30 and I'll keep trying the doors until I'm let in.

and thus, here I am, "laughing in the face of sleep"

this is sleep: "I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog too!! (...wait, make that goldfish, not dog... I do live in a dorm, after all.)
and this is me: "hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......HA"

silly sleep. watch out or I might drop a house on you! bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
...


so yes,
things I have done in the past few hours to remain conscious
>eat some crackers
>play bejeweld
>drink a soda
>play online Boggle and Sorry
>paint my fingernails yellow with green dice spots (1-5 on each hand, obviously)
>read some emails
>WRITE IN MY BLOG

But, on that note, I will now move on to other things, as I'm beginning to grow bored with this and thus beginning to grow tired


tune in next time all
and see if I've slept yet

note to self

do not piss aarthi off and then leave her to her own devices

she will, I repeat WILL do something stupid


and hun, if you ever read this, I'm sorry, but what you did was stupid and childish. I understand the need for attention, but that doesn't justify acting out like you did

and I tried to make ammends. I was going to give you a hug and say I was sorry and we could have worked through it. But when you push me away in anger like that, I'm likely to, more often than not, walk away and leave you alone for a while

I heard the WUPD police make their way up the stairs, knew they were going to find you. I followed, thinking you might want someone on your side, even tho you had just pushed me away mere minutes ago. but you were gone. I couldn't even be worried. I was just so upset that you would go to such lengths just to get attention. Seriously, you need to realize how unhealthy that sort of stuff is.


We're all too tired and burned out for this.