Awesome Song by Switchfoot

Faust, Midas, And Myself

This one's about a dream
I had last night
How an old man tracked me home
And stepped inside
He put his foot inside the door
And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes
Something in his laugh
Something in his voice
That made my skin crawl off

He said, "I've seen you here before
I know your name.
You could have your pick
Of pretty things.
You could have it all
Everything at once.
Everything you've seen,
Everything you'll need,
Everything you've ever had in fantasies."

"You've one life,
You've one life.
You've one life left to lead."

I woke up from my dream
As a golden man
With a girl I've never seen
With golden skin
I jumped up to my feet
She asked me what was wrong
I began to scream
I don't think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening?

What direction?
What direction?
I'm splitting up!
I'm splitting up!
This is my personal disaffection

What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I looked outside the glass
At golden shores
Golden ships and masts
With golden cords
As my reflection passed
I hated what I saw
My golden eyes were dead
And a thought passed through my head
A heart that is made of gold can't really beat at all

I wanted to wake up again
Without a touch of gold

What direction?
Death or action!
Life begins at the intersection.

I woke up as before
But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door
With her night robe on
My heart beat once or twice
And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed
My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine
And what was once routine was now the perfect joy

You've one life
You've one life
One life left to lead

So, Just to Throw This Out There...

I am not monogamous. Most of my friends know this. If you did not know this, well then here it is.
So, with that out of the way...

How, in the space of one month, did I go from being involved with one person to being involved with four (maybe 5.... it's a little uncertain right now)? I mean, it's great. It can get complicated... but it's great. Really.

I guess I'm just concerned slightly with the sort of wrap people tend to get when they openly date more than one person. At least I'm open about it, right? Right.

Eh. Whatever.

In other news, the upcoming ALA meeting should frickin' rock like nothing else. If you ever make it to a single meeting, make it to this one. I believe edge play and flogging are on the agenda. *happy dance*

One other thing.... LOOK AT THESE FRICKIN' AWESOME PICTURES OF THE MAKE-UP I DID FOR A PLAY I WAS IN THIS PAST WEEKEND!!!!!




Rock on, all.

Brendan

This is Brendan in the background here. If you don't really know me and/or know about Brendan, this will mean nothing to you, but the mise-en-scene of this photo says a WHOLE lot about the relationship we have.

And that's pretty much it.
Bye now!

My 20th Birthday

That's right, you guys. As of yesterday, I am no longer a teenager.

I started the day at Kurt's apartment after spending the night, but could not stay with him long. There were things to be done, and little did I know just how many things there were going to be.

Kenzie picked me up from Webster Groves and we headed out to the mall where we trolled, as has become our style. After that, it was to PF Chang's, where we staked out places at the bar, flirted with a cute bartender we'd met the last time we were there, and convinced the staff that it was my 22nd birthday (rather than my 20th). As it stood, we got 5 free drinks between us and a free dessert. From there, it was back to Kenzie's so she could change, and then to my party at my place (which I ended up being an hour late to).

So, the good:
A fair number of people showed up and seemed to have a good time.
Adam was there.
Adam wore a dress.
Kurt was there.
I got to kiss Kenzie (for the third or fourth time that night).
And I got to make out with Ariel for while (for the first time ever). See, look, photographic evidence! ->



And, the bad:
Tho I'm not comfortable saying how, I ended up hurting Kurt's feelings. (Which I really hate.) And no, it does not have anything to do with kissing Kenzie or Ariel.


The good outweighs the bad in quantity, but in quality, it's feeling the opposite...

Le sigh.


Until next time, all, remember always to live, love, and laugh fully.

Kurt

Kurt. The newest person in my life. ^_^
We met through Kenzie (the soon-to-be-roommate) and after, as he puts it, he convinced me to like him, we hit it off pretty well.
I just really really enjoy spending time with him.
Yay. ^_^

I realize the last time I mentioned a guy of romantic interest on the blog (last April??) I was very giddy about it and whatnot. I think, though, that that came from feeling so insecure about how that guy felt about me. It was kind of exciting in a way, but always left me worried. In this case, I just feel really comfortable. It's a lot less tiring, I'll tell you that.

I sigh contentedly and leave it at that.

Carry on my dear friends.
Live. Love. Be. Believe.

I Should Start Real Posts Again....oh well, maybe later

1- I love how studying for a test has become simply doing all the reading and/or problem sets I've been putting off

2- I'm glad civil disobedience is over

3- Got put in the alternate pool for RA

4- Decided to move off campus and live with Kenzie starting this summer and through the next school year

5- I love it when professors like me when I'm not even trying that hard in their class (yes, I admit it happens)

6- Got a part in this year's Thyrsus site-specific play

7- SAFFRON!!!!!

8- Staying in St. Louis for Spring Break. (Mom keeps telling people I'm never coming home...)



That's pretty much it.

Kitten Doom

Oh, I love this so much.

Cats meet Invader Zim. PERFECTION!!

Bugs Bunny War Bond Drive WW2 Cartoon

That's just somethin' else, eh doc?

Cotton Eye Joe

beatboxing flute, super mario brothers

Thinking of you, dad. ^_^

One Of The Best Shopping Lists Ever

This evening I walked through the snow, to Walgreens, with Ariel so that she could get Valentine's chocolates and I could get the following:

-> One Box Trojan Ultra Thins
-> Two Pairs Fuzzy Striped Socks


I've hardly ever been happier with a single shopping trip.
It has made my day. ^_^

Look, socks!!



Ps, it's snowy here.



Pps, I LOVE MY STUPID DOES-NOTHING PHOTO EDITOR!!!


And that is all.

I Heart Gir

I'm gonna sing the doom song now!!

SELF INDULGENCE

Ok... so I'm just weird... and self indulgent
But so I was looking at some of my older FB pictures and I'm interested by the changes over time
Share in the experience, my dear friends, and look along


Feb/Mar (ish) 2004


April 2005


January 2006


November 2006


February 2007

It's especially weird to look at the first and last one next to each other. Trippy.

Well, goodnight, all.

R.A.

Soooooo, I actually haven't mentioned this on the blog, but I'm looking to become an RA for next Fall. Just got done with my interview, in fact. It seemed to go well, I think, but I suppose I'll know on the 28th, when I go to ResLife and pick up my letter. They will either say I've been hired, put on a reserve list, or that they are not interested in me at all as an RA. I really want to do this. It'll mean a lot of changes, sure, but I'm up for it.

On a totally different note, I cut my hair over winter break, pictured below. (yes, once again I cut off most of my hair during a time when it's really cold. i know i know. sh!) And I moved into a single room, also pictured below.

Woohoo! Looky!




And I'm done.

Student Health = Cash Pit

Ok, so maybe not so much. Especially since it's kind of possible that Student Health may have saved my life recently.

The point is, I'm spending frickin tons of money there lately. As it stands, I currently have three upcoming appointments there. One for follow-up from my surgery (which seemed to go well, btw). Another for some sort of check-up to get my next birth control prescription. And yet another to meet with the university dietitian (cause even though I'm about 50 pounds lighter than I was three years ago, my weight is still a potential future problem).

Ok. Can I just take one second to say how much that annoys me?? It's no walk in the park to loose fifty pounds and pretty much maintain that. But that doesn't even matter. When people look at me, all they see is another fat chick who obviously overeats and never gets of her ass enough. It's such a trip, cause every time I go home and see people who knew me in high school, they all compliment me on how good I look and on how much weight I lost, etc etc. But then I get back to school where everyone only knows me as I am at my current weight, and it's totally gone and I'm just the fat kid again.

Alright, alright, I never feel like just the fat kid. My sense of self is way better than that. But you understand what I'm getting at.

Oy. But I made the appointment, and it should do me some good (which is all that matters).

But yes, to add to all that, I'm still playing with the idea of going in for a counseling appointment. Cause let's face it, I have some issues. And hey, the first however many are free, so that's good.

Hopefully all of this is doing me good, and I believe that it is.



Oh, and here's my hospital bracelet. ('Cause I'm weird and keep such things.)




Well... I don't know where to go with that, except that I should do productive things now....
Wheeeeeeeee!!!

Aw, I Miss My Cat

Ariel just sent me this web comic.

Stick a Toothpick in Them Already

When I walk out into my common room at 1:45AM on a Sunday night and the first thing I notice is the distinctly strong smell of what the guys down the hall are smoking (for, indeed, I followed the scent as it grew ever stronger down the hall and to a closed door from which moderately-volumed music seemed to emanate) I have only two thoughts. 1, who the hell smokes that much on a Sunday night? 2, how is it that none of these people ever seem to get caught?

Thus goes it.

And now I will nap. SOOOOOO tired. Bye now.

Cut It Out

February 2nd, I'll arrive at Missouri Baptist hospital at 5:30am and check in on the second floor of the main building for my 7:30am surgery.

LEEP - Loop Electrosurgical Excision Procedure

LEEP uses a thin wire loop electrode which is attached to an electrosurgical generator. The generator transmits an electrical current that quickly cuts away the affected cervical tissue in the immediate area of the loop wire. This causes the abnormal cells to rapidly heat and burst, and separates the tissue as the loop wire moves through the cervix.

It's this or risk developing cervical cancer. Yeah... as if that's a choice.

Emergency Pants

If you've read my FB profile, you understand.

frequency modulation

Don't pay attention to the title. It's just the term currently stuck in my head. I think I liked it better when I had "plenary remission" stuck in my head, tho.

I don't really have time to post. The ball that is the show I'm stage managing is starting to roll and if I'm not well balanced, it might roll right over me.

Just wanted to put something out there.

Hm... my mom might be starting chemo soon. Oy. All prayers and/or vibes of good will are welcome.

Good luck in this new year, all.