.Must. .Survive. .Finals. .Week.

OMG I WANNA GO HOME!!!

So I'm back in Texas from Dec 21 to Jan 13. Woot.
Gonna hang out with John. Rawkus. New Year's is gonna be awwwwesome.

Just need to put the finishing touches on a paper and then study for an exam for the next few days....
*whimper* I'm so done....


On a happy note, however, I got the best compliment from a friend of mine today. He told me ->
"you're sweet, you're kind, you're patient, you're generous. you have a very fun disposition. you know yourself well. you're somewhat introspective, but you like to have fun. you're nothing short of an interesting person."

*yay-face*

^_^ And now I wanna go to bed. Nights!

Time to Register for Classes? What??

Bleh. I'm so frazzled lately.

Went off the Lexapro. That was hell for a couple weeks. Have Xanax now. Fun.

On a happier note, I may have the most perfect schedule EVER next semester. First of all, I'll complete all my psychology major requirements. Plus I'll complete all my artsci requirements. THEN, my earliest class in the week is at 11:30, my Mondays don't start till 1pm, and my Fridays are over at 1pm. SOOOOO perfect.

So hopefully next semester I'll be taking:
The Science of Sleep
Introduction to the Psychology of Aging
Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Identity Development
Theatre Culture Studies Seminar
and
Poetry Writing

WOO!

Soooo yeah. I'm gonna be in town (St. Louis) for Thanksgiving. Come chill if ur around.

PEACE!

Thanksgiving

This is really random, yes, but I'd just like to take a moment to point out that Thanksgiving is, in fact, a religious holiday. Who do yo uthink you're giving thanks to? Or supposed to be giving thanks to, at least. Thank you for the bountiful harvest, for family and friends, etc. You're not thanking your next doot neighbor there you know.

Anyway.

I just think it's interesting, casue no one I know of has ever gotten upset about Thanksgiving. But plenty of people object to Christmas. Ok. Yes, yes, CHRISTmas is more directly religious. Sure. But I think you get what I'm saying.



Ok, I'm out.

A Not-So-Bright New Day or bright yellow/orange pee

I don't even know where to begin here. It's been a while since i last posted. Hmmmm, let's see....

Broke up with Patrick

Started dating Adam Wright

Working in a lab as an undergradute assistant


Annnnnnnnd..... beginning to hate academia. Ok... not hate it, but I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the stress and lack of sleep and vastly large amounts of reading assignments that can be so dense that after spending hours reading, I sometimes find I've learned NOTHING. This is very much how I felt my junior year of high school. Except now everyhting is that much harder.

As I see the sun beginning to peak out, dawning a new day of stress and a Psych of Learning exam, all I want to do is block it out and sleep for about three days.


To add to the academic trials before me, I've recently developed a very bad urinary tract infection that had started to spread to my kidneys. Oh yay.... I'm on antibiotics now, and should be 100% free of it in a week, but for now my kidneys still kinda hurt, and I have to stay away from caffeine. The horrible thing about that is that I've been relying VERY hevily on caffeine to keep me going lately, and now I'm tired and headachy from the withdrawals. Fortunately, so far as related UTI pains, they gave me something that helps with the dysuria (and also turns my pee a very odd and bright yellowish orange.


Anyway, I decided to start posting again since Cecily said she missed reading my blog. This one's for you, Cecily. ^_^ *Love*

very weird dream

Alright, lets see if I can run through the highlights here.

Well, first I was evidently engaged to marry this chick. She was pretty. Long straight brown hair. And I really loved her in the dream.

And then somewhere along the way in the dream her gender changed. Which I only noticed in thinking about the dream later.

So then it's a guy. Still love him. Short, curly brown hair. And he's some sort of pool (like the game) instructor. My instructor. Or, at least the instructor of a class I was in.

Near the end of one class he lets me and a couple others go early because we have a dance competition to go to. And on my way out the door he kisses me hard as the rest of the class gapes on. Looks like the secret's out.

Oh, and did I mention I'm not engaged to him like I was to the girl?

So I go to some sort of lockerroom and get dressed for the competition, except that I've forgotten something back at the instructor guy's house that I left last time I was there, so I run over there cause evidently it's important. I still have no idea what I was going there for.

And while there his WIFE comes back into town. Hmm.... downer. And she evidently knows about me and tells me that I was just a fling and that if I thought he was actually going to keep me, then I was a fool. But she lets me in to get my missing item.

I go into his room where my mystery missing item is and what do you know, he's in the shower. So I pretend to be searching for the item for a while until I hear the water turn off and I knock on the door.

When he steps out he's unsurprised to see me. Unashamed to know that I've just met his wife. And then somehow we end up on the bed and then the dream gets a little more than PG13 while the wife is in the next room.

And that's the end.



You know, I'm actually now wondering if I was the guy in the first part and the girl was the wife that I later meet. It's possible. She did look similar except with shorter hair. There could be lapsed time. But I'm trying to impose logic on a dream. And that's kinda silly. ^_^

Crazy Anxious

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I understand why I was so anxious last month while I was in London. But now I'm home and it's really no better. Ok, ok, so I haven't been taking my medicine quite as regularly as I should since I've been home, so I guess that'll have something to do with it.... But I just expected things to be better.

Alright -> Initiate personal ranting ->


Patrick is pretty much MIA since he does work two jobs and that just seems to be the way things are. This would, perhaps, be ok if he could manage to call me now and then, but.... *bitter*
It's likely to get better. It's in the works.


Kenzie's out of town again and I miss her.


Our wireless is a pain in the ass these days.


I don't get to see my parents until October, which will be 9 months since the last time I saw them.


I miss Brendan, for obvious reasons.


And I haven't been sleeping well these last couple of nights.




Blah. And I'm done.

...must needs cuddles...

I'm not dead; I just spent a month in London.

And those of you on Facebook would know this by the over 200 photos I uploaded while I was there. (And I didn't even take pictures for the last week and a half of the trip!)

Basically, I'm just really happy to be home again, so that I can see the people around me whom I love, sleep in my wonderful full size bed, and have CONSTANT internet. Woot.

I was a bit sad to leave, tho. I'm always a little sad when I leave someplace.

That's all I've got for now. I'm off to play online games!

8 days till londonandthe patrick

first of all.....

LEAVING FOR LONDON IN 8 DAYS LEAVING FOR LONDON IN 8 DAYS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It's scary. I'll arrive in a country I've never been to and have to follow written directions involving public transportation to my destination.... alone.

I don't much like traveling alone when I'm in an unfamiliar place. But at least it's an English speaking country, right?



secondly, the patrick

I miss him.

He's taking steps right now to get his life into better working order. Which is terrific and I'm so happy that he seems to be headed in the right diretion. But the sucky part is that this means that he has less time for other things.... Like me. I know he needs this time. But I miss him now that he's so busy. And I worry about him sometimes.

I guess I sometimes think that if we don't spend much time together that he'll lose interest. Like.... I'm keeping up some sort of act and I don't want to lose my audience. (the fact that I will soon be out of the country for a whole month doesn't help this any.) But I know that doesn't make sense. We have a good time together and I know that he wants me in his life. And it's not like I'm lacking for companions otherwise.

I just wish things were better for him so that things could be better for the both of us.



And now my self-indulgent rambling is done for the day.
Thanks!

must needs cuddles

I'm tired, a little out of it, and stressed (some interpersonal issues).

I'm not entirely sure why, but I felt compelled to post something, so here I am.

I guess, one, I don't like people telling me what to do when I haven't asked them for guidance. It's an intersting stab at my pride that never fails to make me turn stubborn. (There's a great comment I could make here but I'll refrain.)

Two, lack of communication is one thing I really can't handle for very long if there's something I feel needs to be said. (Yes, yes, yes, I know, I'm such a woman...)

Three, MUST NEEDS CUDDLES.

Now I go to bed. G'night moon.

Breakfast

As I sit here eating my breakfast of half off-brand Rice Crispies and half off-brand Lucky Charms (at almost 4:30 in the afternoon), I come to realize something genious.


They really should put little marshmallow things in Rice Crispies.

Really, tho, they're nothing like marshmallows, right? Other than the fact that they are entirely comprised of sugar...

Huh.

Well, my cereal's getting soggy. Later!

Robin Williams - Fukitol

LOVE this one.

More

Robin Williams on Winter Sports and Canada

I love you, Robin Williams.

BZDEAL

do you ever lie in Bed and desire to fashion yourself a perfect friend out of the air around you?

who will cuddle with you? make you laugh? Zap the tinges of shadow that hide at the corners of your eyelids?

if only it were so easy to call such a force to light Darkness

golden hearted sunshine, an Entire pocket full of rose-tinted glasses

A salve for wounds the world hath given

perfect Love

Honesty Box

As most of the people who are likely to read this already know, Facebook has a fuck ton of new optional applications that were created by users. One of the ones I have recently added is the Honesty Box. Basically, any one of your friends can type a completely anonymous comment in a box on your profile that only you can read.

I think it's an interesting idea.

Anyhow, I got the best compliment in my Honesty Box last night.
It said "You are very real. And that's very rare."

Huge compliment.


I smile and go get breakfast now. Yay.
Latorz.

the beautiful things

there are moments when you just become paralyzingly aware of the beautiful things in life

it's when you take your lover by the hand and your eyes smile at each other
when you finally become secure in the idea that life will never throw you more than you can handle
when you laugh for little more reason than the fact that you're drunk with the hilarity of good friends
when the dew glistens across a grassy field lit by the golden dawn of a new day
when, on any day of the week, ten million things could have gone wrong and nothing did

these are the things that we need to hold on to


until next time, all

blrg

I think I may have developed some sort of outdoor allergy. I've been sneezing a lot lately whenever I go out and my nose is runny for the longest time after I go in and just blah.

So that's downright appetizing.

I just had a really weird experience online.
I was playing the new flower game on Facebook and this one guy and I slowly start talking and by the time we're done playing we've exchaned SNs and started chatting through AIM.

Now don't get confused. I'm not going romantic here. And def not sex. This guy is just legitimatey friend material; 100%. So weird to "meet" someone that way and really think you'd like to hang out and be friends.


Man, I'm out.
Till next time.

Oh, I Forgot to Mention...

My dog recently died....

Rest in peace, honey.

Patrick

Alright, so, the new boy. I met him at a party at the end of last April. He looked like this:


Something like a month later we meet up for dinner, and it begins.
I didn't think I'd like him all that much, but I just felt so comfortable with him and he was so very sweet to me.
We began to talk more and spend more time together and, what do you know, it went well.
So yay.

Now here's some more pictures!!




He took me to six flags. It was good times.

And speaking of times, until next time.

The Awesome

I love my life so much right now.

I've got a great apartment in a great location. I've got an awesome roomate with the cutest cat. I'm making good grades. I'm going to spend this July in London, including a performance on the Globe Theatre stage. My family is proud of me. My friends love me. My lovers, too.

My life... is as perfect as it could ever be.




And so I'm kind of wondering what's gonna come along and fuck it all up........
(Lord forbid, of course)


Until next time, all.